The Art of Saying No
The Art of Saying No
From the moment we arrive in this world, we are shaped and moulded by expectations, conditioned to “do as we’re told,” and praised for compliance. Many of us grow up as people pleasers, seeking validation by accommodating others, even at the expense of our own truth. This dis-ease of people-pleasing crushes the spirit, leaving little room for authenticity. It takes immense strength and courage to reclaim our sovereignty, to know ourselves deeply, and to say no.
From an early age, I had a knack for saying no. At six, seven, eight years old, I was already questioning authority—refusing books or tasks in school that felt wrong to me. My resistance wasn’t exactly celebrated. I spent much of my primary school years outside the classroom, in the headmaster’s office, or writing lines as punishment. These formative experiences left me questioning my worth. Was I a bad person for standing in my truth?
By my teenage years, I leaned into rebellion as an identity. If I was “bad,” I would own it. I bunked off school, smoked pot, and swapped P.E. lessons for Buddy Holly records at my mate Jim’s house. By 14, drinking was a weekly ritual. Yet even in rebellion, I was carving my own path—one that would take me to London at 18, where I lived in my car until I could afford a hostel. That spirit of defiance led me to travel the world solo, start a business that catered for high-profile clients like Jamie Oliver, and embrace the unknown.
But beneath my outward success was a void. No achievement, no amount of travel, no accolade could fill the emptiness inside. I didn’t love myself. I was perpetually chasing more, numbing the pain with alcohol and distractions. My outer chaos mirrored my inner turmoil—a truth I would only recognise years later during my spiritual awakening in 2015.
And oh, what an awakening it was. The euphoria and turmoil of my initiation are stories for another day, but suffice it to say, my life changed forever. I realised that by constantly saying yes to what drained me and ignoring my heart, I had become a chameleon—shapeshifting to fit every mould, losing sight of my true essence.
The journey back to myself began with one act of courage: saying no. No to possessions. No to a business that no longer aligned. No to a marriage that no longer felt true. I bought a campervan and drove into nature, answering the call of the forests, oceans, and mountains. What I found there was more than just natural beauty—it was the wisdom of plant spirits, elemental beings, and Ascended Masters, including Magdalen. These encounters, particularly with the ancient Fortingall Yew, guided me home to myself.
Today, I say no more than I say yes. I’ve discovered that no is not a rejection—it’s an act of deep self-love. When we say no to what doesn’t serve us, we create space for what does. Miracles and magic become our norm because we’ve aligned with our true essence.
This journey has led me to a life of purpose: teaching candle-making as a sacred craft, leading rituals, and guiding children in magical classes alongside Merlin himself. I’ve built a life of joy and meaning, not by doing more, but by doing what feels right.
Saying no is a profound yes to your soul. It’s a practice, and like any practice, it begins with small steps. When faced with a decision, pause, take a breath, and ask your heart: is this a yes or a no? Honour the answer, no matter how uncomfortable it feels at first.
The truth is, we are not here to be everything to everyone. Those who truly love and respect us will honour our boundaries. Those who don’t? Their reaction is a gift, showing us who truly aligns with our soul’s path.
So, I invite you to begin today. Say no to what drains you and yes to what nourishes you. Watch as your outer reality transforms to reflect the love and respect you’ve cultivated within.
Happy New Year. Happy New You.
With love and courage,
Lisa Marie