The Art of Saying No

The Art of Saying No: A Journey Back to Self Love and Sovereignty

The art of saying no is one of the most powerful practices we can ever cultivate. For so many of us, saying yes became a way of surviving, of belonging, of earning love. Learning to say no, gently and without guilt, is how we find our way home to ourselves.

Why so many of us learn to say yes

From the moment we arrive in this world, we are shaped and moulded by expectation, conditioned to do as we are told, praised for our compliance. Many of us grow into people pleasers, seeking validation by accommodating others, even at the expense of our own truth. This habit of people pleasing slowly crushes the spirit, leaving little room for authenticity. It takes immense strength and courage to reclaim our sovereignty, to know ourselves deeply, and to say no.

I learned the art of saying no as a child

From an early age, I had a knack for saying no. At six, seven, eight years old, I was already questioning authority, refusing books or tasks at school that felt wrong to me. My resistance was rarely celebrated. I spent much of my primary school years outside the classroom, in the headmaster's office, or writing lines as punishment. Those formative years left me questioning my worth, wondering whether I was a bad person for standing in my truth.

Rebellion, London, and a life that looked successful

By my teenage years, I leaned into rebellion as an identity. If I was the bad one, I would own it. I bunked off school, smoked pot, and swapped P.E. lessons for Buddy Holly records at my mate Jim's house. By fourteen, drinking was a weekly ritual.

Even in rebellion, I was carving my own path. It carried me to London at eighteen, where I lived in my car until I could afford a hostel. That same spirit of defiance led me to travel the world solo, to start a business that catered for celebrated clients like Jamie Oliver, and to keep saying yes to the unknown.

The void beneath the success

Beneath the outward success was a void. No achievement, no amount of travel, no accolade could fill the emptiness inside. I did not love myself. I was forever chasing more, numbing the ache with alcohol and distraction. My outer chaos mirrored my inner turmoil, a truth I would only come to recognise years later during my spiritual awakening in 2015.

My awakening and the courage to say no

And what an awakening it was. The euphoria and the turmoil of my initiation are stories for another day. For now it is enough to say that my life changed forever. I saw that by constantly saying yes to what drained me, and ignoring my own heart, I had become a chameleon, shapeshifting to fit every mould, losing sight of my true essence.

The journey back to myself began with one act of courage: saying no. No to possessions. No to a business that no longer aligned with me. No to a marriage that no longer felt true. I bought a campervan and drove into nature, answering the call of the forests, oceans, and mountains.

What the forests, lochs, and mountains taught me

What I found out there went far beyond natural beauty. I found the wisdom of plant spirits, elemental beings, and Ascended Masters, including Magdalen. These encounters, and in particular my meeting with the ancient Fortingall Yew, guided me home to myself.

Saying no is an act of self love

Today, I say no far more than I say yes. I have come to know that saying no is an act of deep self love. When we say no to what drains us, we create space for what nourishes us. Miracles and magic become our everyday, because we have aligned with our true essence.

A life of purpose, joy, and magic

This journey has led me to a life of purpose. I teach candle making as a sacred craft, I lead rituals, and I guide children in magical classes alongside Merlin himself. I have built a life of joy and meaning simply by doing what feels right.

How to begin saying no: a simple heart led practice

Saying no is a profound yes to your soul. It is a practice, and like any practice it begins with small steps. When you face a decision, pause, take a breath, and ask your heart whether this is a yes or a no. Honour the answer, however uncomfortable it feels at first.

Those who love you will honour your boundaries

We are here to be true to ourselves. Those who truly love and respect us will honour our boundaries. When someone reacts against your no, receive it as a gift, a clear sign showing you who is aligned with your soul's path.

So I invite you to begin today. Say no to what drains you, and yes to what nourishes you. Watch as your outer world begins to reflect the love and respect you have cultivated within.

Here is to a new chapter, and a new you.

With love and courage,

Lisa Marie